Thursday, April 12, 2012

Sex and the Writer


I would totally be a liar if I didn't admit that I do so enjoy the adult scenes in romance novels. It's true. Thoroughly and completely.

And I write romance novels at around the same heat level.

So my friend and I have been reading over each other's "WiP" (Works in Progress) to get them ready for submissions and it came up, today, that we're about to hit the first of the horizontal mambos to be read.

As a reader, I instantly respond...

 "Booyah! Score!"

As a writer, however, I instantly respond....

"O.M. Guacamole! It's as though every person reading this is having sex with me!"

True story.

It's almost a form of exhibitionism, in a way. These are sexual thoughts from my head to yours. They may not even be MY personal fantasies, but to make them real, I have to enjoy them even just a bit, myself.

It's kind of nerve-wracking the first time you hand a sex-scene that came from your mind to somebody else.

Two words:

Penthouse Letters.

That's right.

People read those to get a little oomph going. Why would reading it in a story be any different?

Only, instead of it being sent from an anonymous source called "Daddy Likes it Raw", you KNOW who wrote this and from whose mind these thoughts came.

As a reader, there's excitement in that, and I don't necessarily mean sexual excitement. You begin to look at these authors and say "DAMN, but you are creative!!"

As a writer, new to expressing these, I can't help but think:

"Damn, but I hope that doesn't weird them out. Maybe I should have moved his foot to the left?"


"Ahhh, you so know some of my 'dirty words', now. Awkward."

Really, when a writer gets in character, these are his or her thoughts and these are his or her movements, but the motivation still stems from the author. After all, writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia, right? These are essentially extensions of the extensions of my personalities. "I do what the voices in my head tell me!"

And how about married authors? or authors who are in a known relationship?

It's like having a stamp on your forehead, "Hey! You might have just read what I did last night!"

I'm not uncomfortable with it, per se. Not really. Hell, I review this stuff all the time. So I don't mind talking about bumping uglies and other body parts. Furthermore, I'm female. I have, as have MANY, MANY others, spoken with my girlfriends about my sex-life on MANY occasions.

It's more that sharing my personal sex fantasies and other ideas is a brand new thing to me in such a broad global manner. It's like broadcasting it to the world: "I like it doggie!" you know?

It's hard enough (as I wrote in a previous post) to share your work with someone.

Now you're not just sharing parts of you. You're sharing SECRET behind-closed-doors parts of you.

It's worth it, though. And I don't find it sexual when I think about it. No, it's all about the enjoyment. It's PART of the world you created. You wrote it and just like the rest of the book, you want your readers to enjoy it. And when they do?


Talk about a happy face.

So off I go to write down how my MCs get-down-on-it! And I hope that you... the readers.. when you get hold of it... will enjoy their physical passion as much as I hope you enjoy their emotional passion.

It's all about the story. ;)


  1. That it's almost a form of exhibitionism is part of what makes being an erotica writer so much fun! I agree with you - if the readers like it, wow, that's a thrill. 

    But people know - don't they?- that writers have vivid (and sometimes filthy) imaginations and haven't necessarily done all the things we write about, right? Some of them we CAN'T even do...I mean, I'm female, so I might write about sex between two guys, but I can't bloody well experience it firsthand, right? 

    Then again, readers know that science fiction writers don't really go into outer space or back in time, and that fantasy writers have never actually ridden unicorns. We readers are smart cookies. 

  2. Are you trying to tell me unicorns aren't real?! :D

    Readers are very much smart cookies and it's a reader that keeps a writer on her toes, lol!

    I think what I'm having to come to terms with is that, for any topic, there has to be a frame of reference upon which to make a connection. A friddlefraddle from Loopityville may be some small hairy hobgoblin and, no, I haven't met one in person... but I can, if I think about it, trace the concept back and will eventually come to a point where I realize that it stemmed from something that WAS in my frame of reference. :)

    Fantasy/Sci-Fi isn't mimicry of reality, most definitely!

    But it does have a good healthy dose of it, even if it's waaaay back on the brainwave-timeline, lol. :D


I would love to hear what you have to think! Please remember your manners and I'll try to do the same. ;)